Winter 2018
Most people hear it – know it’s there – and have become accustomed to it. It’s that little critical voice inside of your brain, constantly evaluating, criticizing and shaming you with a message, “not good enough.”
It’s the annoying voice of evaluation that prevents you from finding enjoyment or freedom in what you do. I refer to it as the Self-Critic or Inner Critic.
The Inner Critic can be hard to locate because it operates under the radar — almost like a constant hum in our subconscious.
Critics rob us of the ability to enjoy and live in the present moment. Critics like to hang around in the background of our brain; judging and telling us where we’re failing. They use a comparison stick that never goes in our favor.
You might notice that Inner Critic is loud when you’re trying something new, when you’ve made a mistake, when you’ve violated your own moral code or when your performance is sub-par.
Critics watch our behavior and other people’s reactions — and nail us quickly and swiftly. If there’s any addictive behavior; alcohol, porn, pills, affairs, gambling, shopping or eating — there’s almost always a Critic, hating us for that behavior.
Inner Critics cause feelings of “others are seeing me in my badness”; worthless, depressed, anxious, fear of failure, fear of abandonment/rejection, not good enough, etc.
Inner Critics typically start in childhood. As adults, that critical “software” never stops playing, even though it’s outdated and no longer effective. Those comparison messages continue to run in the background – and tear down our self-worth.
Quieting the Inner Critic
I highly recommend you work either with a therapist or use Mark Coleman’s book: Make Peace with Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can free you from Your Inner Critic.
The natural inclination is to drive out the negative self-talk with ineffective and fleeting strategies such as; TV, people pleasing, booze, gambling, eating, perfectionism, affairs, anger, controlling others and/or workaholism.
None of these are a permanent solution.
Compassion is the balm that melts self-criticism. If you don’t know how to give yourself compassion — seek outside help.
The Inner Critic is behind the insidious thoughts that can make us second-guess our every action and doubt our own value.
―Mark Coleman, Author, Make Peace with Your Mind
Comments are closed.