February 2014
Since February is the month of love, I decided to bring you the 10 Commandments of Love, as written by Dr. Stan Tatkin — the author of Wired for Loveand Love and War in Intimate Relationships. He is a teacher, writer, researcher and psychotherapist in the area of couples and secure functioning relationships.
Dr. Tatkin has come up with his 10 commandments for relationship essentials that beautifully capture the most important qualities in healthy relationships.
1. THOU SHALT protect the safety and security of thy relationship at all costs.
2. THOU SHALT base thy relationship on true mutuality, remembering that all decisions and actions must be good for thee AND for thine relationship.
3. THOU SHALT appoint thy partner as go-to person for all matters, making certain thy partner is first to know — not second, third, or fourth — in all matters of importance.
4. THOU SHALT not threaten the existence of the relationship, for so doing would benefit no one.
5. THOU SHALT provide a tether to thy partner all the days and nights of thy life, and never fail to greet thy partner with good cheer.
6. THOU SHALT protect thy partner in public and in private from harmful elements, including thyself.
7. THOU SHALT put thy partner to bed each night and awaken with thy partner each morning.
8. THOU SHALT correct all errors, including injustices and injuries, at once or as soon as possible, and not make dispute of who was the original perpetrator.
9. THOU SHALT base thy relationship on true mutuality, remembering that all decisions and actions must be good for thee AND for thine partner.
10. THOU SHALT learn thy partner well and master the ways of seduction, influence and persuasion without the use of fear or threat.
For many, these attributes bring about a feeling of safety, love and equality in a relationship.
What about thou? How might thou and thou partner draw closer?
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