Archive | Stress Management

Creating Calm in the COVID Calamity

By in Anxiety, Stress Management

Late Spring 2020

The pandemic has created the perfect storm to escalate fear, worry and anxiety. We are dealing with uncertainty, social isolation, health fears and economic challenges. These challenges are hitting us and our loved ones all at once.  It’s as if someone flipped a light switch.

And, people don’t know when things will go back to normal.  That creates new layers of anxiety.

In the midst of the storm – this is a great time to build resilience.

1. Awareness: What is in the Present vs the Past?
Really slow it down and check your emotional temperature to pinpoint your fear/concerns (instead of just saying, “I’m anxious”).  What are your concerns exactly?

  •  job loss
  • loneliness
  • health worries
  • concern for loved ones
  • missing someone
  • financial insecurity
  • scared of the unknown

Ask yourself: How much of my distress is brand new with the pandemic and how much of it has always been there?

It is likely that some of your distress is specific to the pandemic and not anything you’ve ever been concerned about before.

And, it is also highly likely that some of your distress has traveled with you for a long time and you’ve never dealt with that fear/concern in a permanent way.  You might have ways of covering it up or pushing it down.  Yet, it comes back.  This pandemic can ignite old issues like wildfire.

Here are some examples of how past issues can fuel current fears:

  • An individual who grew up in a home where success/performance was highly valued might have built their identity around “doing well, working hard and being successful”.  This person likely has pushed down fear of failure for a long time.  In this time of economic uncertainty, their anxiety related to the threat of job/income loss will be more amplified than a person whose identity is not built upon performance.
  • A person might have been exposed to illness as a youngster or a scary medical event or the death of a loved one.   If that scary event was not properly talked about or explained to the child — this person might struggle with larger fears of death or illness during the pandemic.
  • An individual who took on a caretaking role as a child might be feeling exceptionally overwhelmed during the pandemic because their children/spouse are now home 24/7 and they feel more pressure to caretake.  Caretakers can be so focused on the needs of others that their unmet needs get pushed down even further, resulting in heightened despair and anxiety.
Dealing with issues from the past is something that a therapist can help you overcome on a permanent basis.  Yet, there’s a lot you can do for yourself during the pandemic to develop new tools to build resilience.

2. Build Resilience: Create a Gratitude Journal
There are many tools to increase resilience. One of my favorites is easy, simple and can be done individually and as a family.A Gratitude Journal entails jotting down things for which you are grateful.  Your list might be short or detailed — it might contain small and large things.  Make the list — and you will be left with a wonderful collection of inspiring material when you need a lift.Ask your partner and children to join in.  Begin your evening meal by each person sharing one item of gratitude — no matter how small.

Benefits of a Gratitude Journal
1.  Less stress.  By highlighting gratitude, you increase feelings of well-being and contentment.

2. Better sleep.  By reminding yourself of what you have to be thankful for, you are much less likely to ponder over your worries and more likely to de-clutter your mind for a good night’s sleep.

3. More optimism. When you choose to see more of the positivity in your life — you reduce the power of negative emotions. While these positive aspects of your life may be floating around in your subconscious, writing them down makes them more concrete and more real.

Lord,
Enlighten what’s dark in me
Strengthen what’s weak in me
Mend what’s broken in me
Bind what’s bruised in me
Heal what’s sick in me
and lastly
Revive whatever peace and love has died in me
~ ~ Unknown
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Divide & Conquer Your Anxiety

By in Anxiety, Christian, Relationships, Stress Management

Spring 2020

The media constantly informs us that the Coronavirus is highly contagious.

Yet, stress is equally as contagious. A recent study from the University of Hawaii claimed stress can be as contagious as the common cold and you can actually ‘catch’ anxiety from another person.

In these difficult times, we need to be paying attention to our physical health and our mental health.

Research from California shows that the best way to deal with stress is to share your feelings with someone who is in the same situation. When a person shares with another that they feel threatened or scared or uncertain — it creates a buffer from the fear and reduces the perceived threat.

It is absolutely true:
A problem shared is a problem halved.

The answer during the Coronavirus outbreak is to create new normal routines that keep you connected to others while keeping you safe.

  • Create more intimate gatherings or walks 1:1 out in the fresh air.
  • Talk to your children and be truthful yet provide age-appropriate information. Let them know they are safe and you will be there for them.
  • Avoid speculation with others and instead focus on the positives.
  • Choose family-friendly movies/Netflix and enjoy family time.
  • Connect with old friends via the phone or Skype.
  • Allow your children to bring their concerns up. It’s normal that children are repetitive about their fears until they feel calm.
  • Renew enjoyable family activities such as puzzles and games.
  • Validate the fears of those around you: “Of course you’re concerned. That’s normal.”
  • Employ coping skills that nurture your spirit, such as mindfulness exercises, meditation or listening to a podcast from your favorite pastor.
  • Put together a gratitude list and share it with someone close to you.
  • Don’t forget grandma/grandpa or the elderly — more frequent phone calls, cards and letters will soothe your spirit and theirs.
  • Get in a conversation with God – share your worries, concerns as well as those things for which you are grateful. Read scripture. Pray.

Sorrow looks back.
Worry looks around.
Faith looks up.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Embracing the Seasons of Life

By in Christian, Mindfulness, Stress Management

FALL 2019

Our life is made up of many different seasons. We have seasons for each area of our life, including; friendships, career, marriage, children and spirituality.

Some seasons last longer than others and we can always be assured that a new season is coming.

SPRING
Spring is a season for learning, opportunity and dynamic thinking.

Spring is an exciting time and a time of work.  Spring is about new beginnings, baby birds and animals rising from their slumber as life springs forth all around us.  Even the sun can hardly wait to rise in the Spring. This season is filled with new beginnings! It might be a budding relationship or graduating college or preparing for a new baby or announcing a retirement.

Spring is filled with hope and calls us to plant seeds while often times not even knowing what they’ll turn into, waiting on God to develop them. Spring is that season of planting seeds with passion, zeal, spiritedness and vibrancy.

Uncertainty as to what is ahead can also be sprinkled into this potpourri.

SUMMER
Summer is a season for reward, celebration, and fulfillment.

It’s hard to think of summer without thinking of the hazy, lazy days of childhood; riding bikes, ice cream trucks, fireworks, swimming pools, camping in the back yard and counting the stars.

Summer is a time of growth, networking, traveling, taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone.  This is a time of life where you might experience courage, compassion and euphoria.

You may notice that the seeds you planted in Spring are now rooting, growing and producing fruit.

FALL
Fall is a season for harvesting, reaping and counting our blessings.

Autumn — ah the sweet smell of autumn, the crisp air blowing the colorful leaves around. Fall is harvest time. We’ve planted, protected, and now we reap. God brings us into harvest season to enjoy a full bounty. This season is filled with great blessings not only for us, but for the Kingdom. It is a season of gratitude.

WINTER
Winter is a season for rest, replenishment, evaluating past efforts/mistakes and planning for Spring.

This is the season where plants, trees and animals are resting and regaining their strength for the new Spring season.

Winter is the season to find that deeper sense of inner peace, to bond with loved ones, to journal thoughts/feelings and to think critically and thoughtfully about life — where you have been and where you are going.

MY SISTER, JOAN:  Embracing Her Season
Sometimes people think that as they get older — the seasons lose their luster.  Yet, when God beckons us to a new season … we need to respond.

My sister, Joan, and her husband, Dean — are healthy, vibrant and in their early 70’s.  My sister heard God calling her to make a big and challenging move.  After the initial fear, uncertainty and lots of discussions, Joan and Dean embraced it.

They sold their house in the city of Seattle where they had lived for 40+ years, raising 2 children.  They purchased 5 acres in the country outside of Seattle and have moved there with both their adult children and grandchildren.

My sister said, “The family compound might not work for some people. And we had to endure people telling us that we were crazy.  Yet we and our kids were excited at the concept of living in community as a family. It’s not only a new season for us — but a fresh beginning for the kids and the grandchildren too.  This legacy will live on after we are gone.”

You’re never too old to embrace the season where God is calling you.  Listen for His whisper.

For everything there is a season
and a time for every matter
under heaven;
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to harvest what is planted

— Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

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Staying Steady as America Becomes Unhinged

By in Anger, Anxiety, Christian, Mindfulness, Stress Management

Fall 2018 – Winter 2019

Are you feeling it too? It is everywhere — people are angry, overwhelmed and worried. Media outlets try to push ratings higher with minute-by-minute perspectives and commentaries that are disturbing and unsettling. Messages bombard us from every angle that our country is divided, kindness has vanished and someone is waiting to call us names if we share our opinion.

So, a key question is: How do I find calm in today’s world?  Recent research is pointing to prayer and meditation as an effective tool.

Stick with me.  Prayer and meditation does not have to be tied to a belief in God or to a particular religion.  If you are agnostic or atheist – don’t stop reading.

1.     Meditation & Prayer: Shifts the Brain Into a Soothed State
Dr. David Spiegel, from Stanford University School of Medicine, is a leading brain scientist.  He recently published research as to what the brain looks like on prayer.

“Praying involves the deeper parts of the brain— the mid-front and back portions,” says Dr. Spiegel.  “These parts of the brain are involved in self-reflection and self-soothing.”

2.     Meditation & Prayer: Produces “Feel Good” Chemicals
Feel-good chemicals, such as Oxytocin, are released during prayer/meditation which helps to soothe and lift our spirits.

During times of stress, our limbic system becomes hyper-activated, and we begin to operate from a state of freeze, fight or flee.   We  move out of a state of contentment and head towards poor decision-making and destructive behaviors.  The chemicals produced while praying return us to a state of equilibrium.

3.     Meditation & Prayer: Reduces Negative Feelings
Research done at the NYU Medical Center, utilized members of Alcoholics Anonymous who were placed in an MRI scanner.  They were shown drinking-related images to intentionally stimulate cravings for alcohol.   Participants used prayer to soothe themselves.  The MRI data showed dramatic shifts in the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for the control of emotion.  Participants self-reported a systemic shift from unsettled to an overall feeling of contentment.

4.     Meditation & Prayer: Prepares Us to Take Action
While there is certainly sound argument for the psychological benefits of prayer and meditation, one question frequently asked by those who are agnostic or atheist: What can prayer actually do in the world? 

The key is balance between prayer and action.  One purpose of prayer and meditation is to recharge our batteries and gain a more centered perspective so that we can move out into the world and create positive change: connecting, re-centering, refocusing and taking steps that create change without destroying other human beings who get in our way.

You can think of prayer as your protective coating for the mind-body-spirit so the action that follows is more effective.

How? If I don’t believe in God.
There are plenty of books, articles and videos out there that can help you with that.

I’ll share one of my own life lessons.  I worked with Harold and he used a phrase frequently when responding to someone who was struggling with pain, grief or loss: I’ll hold a good thought for you.  That statement was always accompanied by his warm, genuine smile.  You felt his care and concern.

One day I asked him what that phrase meant to him.  He said, “It conveys my open heart for that person.  I hold a deep wish that all the good forces in the cosmos come together for the best possible resolution for that person.  My wish for them is that they feel loved and cared for during their difficulty.”

He went on the explain – “I don’t just say it and move on.  I spend time envisioning them wrapped up in all the positive energy in the universe – and it making a positive difference in their life.”

In my 20-something naivety, I asked, “Why don’t you direct that prayer to God?”

He replied, “I come from a scientific family with agnostic beliefs – I was not brought up to believe in God.  Yet, if I die and I discover that God exists … I will hope that he was pleased that I was still able to pray – even though I didn’t believe in him.”

About a month after our conversation – Harold was killed in a car accident.

30 years later – Harold still crosses my mind.  I smile, think of him fondly and wrap my prayer in an interior whisper: Harold, I’m holding a good thought for you.

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there is hatred let me bring your love
Where there is injury, your pardon Lord
And where there’s doubt, true faith in you
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there’s despair in life let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there’s sadness ever joy

— Hymn, Prayer of St. Francis

 

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Banish the Belief “I’m Not Good Enough”

By in Mindfulness, Self-Esteem, Stress Management

Winter 2018

Most people hear it – know it’s there – and have become accustomed to it. It’s that little critical voice inside of your brain, constantly evaluating, criticizing and shaming you with a message, “not good enough.”

 It’s the annoying voice of evaluation that prevents you from finding enjoyment or freedom in what you do.  I refer to it as the Self-Critic or Inner Critic.

The Inner Critic can be hard to locate because it operates under the radar — almost like a constant hum in our subconscious.   

Critics rob us of the ability to enjoy and live in the present moment. Critics like to hang around in the background of our brain; judging and telling us where we’re failing.  They use a comparison stick that never goes in our favor.

You might notice that Inner Critic is loud when you’re trying something new, when you’ve made a mistake, when you’ve violated your own moral code or when your performance is sub-par.

Critics watch our behavior and other people’s reactions — and nail us quickly and swiftly.  If there’s any addictive behavior; alcohol, porn, pills, affairs, gambling, shopping or eating — there’s almost always a Critic, hating us for that behavior.

Inner Critics cause feelings of “others are seeing me in my badness”; worthless, depressed, anxious, fear of failure, fear of abandonment/rejection, not good enough, etc. 

Inner Critics typically start in childhood.  As adults, that critical “software” never stops playing, even though it’s outdated and no longer effective. Those comparison messages continue to run in the background – and tear down our self-worth.

Quieting the Inner Critic

I highly recommend you work either with a therapist or use Mark Coleman’s book: Make Peace with Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can free you from Your Inner Critic.

The natural inclination is to drive out the negative self-talk with ineffective and fleeting strategies such as; TV, people pleasing, booze, gambling, eating, perfectionism, affairs, anger, controlling others and/or workaholism. 

None of these are a permanent solution. 

Compassion is the balm that melts self-criticism.  If you don’t know how to give yourself compassion — seek outside help.

The Inner Critic is behind the insidious thoughts that can make us second-guess our every action and doubt our own value.

―Mark Coleman, Author, Make Peace with Your Mind

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Happiness is a Good Night’s Sleep

By in Stress Management, Work Issues

Fall 2017

The benefits of a good night’s sleep are too many to mention.  And, I’d like to highlight a big one for this article – happiness!

The National Sleep Foundation recommends adults (age 18 – 64) get 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Children and teenagers need more. 

If you ask most people what they want out of life – happiness is typically in the top 3.

Researchers have discovered a correlation between happiness and the amount of sleep a person gets each night.

Results of a recent study indicate that people who are “mostly happy” sleep 7+ hours at night. Those who reported the fewest hours of nightly sleep were the least happy, were more discontent in their relationships, worried more and had less gratitude in their life.

Another recent study, found that Sunday night is the most difficult night for people to get a restful night of sleep.

Steve Orma, a clinical psychologist and insomnia specialist, states that a disrupted sleep routine over the weekend is the biggest culprit for poor Sunday night sleep.

“Many people go to bed later on Friday and Saturday nights and then sleep in later on Saturday and Sunday mornings,” Orma states. “So, when they go to bed on Sunday night, they’re often just not tired. And then when they can’t sleep, they start to think about why they’re not sleeping, which only makes things worse.”

Sleep experts agree that job anxiety can be a huge culprit for sleep difficulties.  

People who worry, ruminate, stew, hold resentments, feel guilt or overthink, also experience difficulties in the area of sleep.

TIPS FOR GETTING A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP

  • Maintain a regular wake-up time on the weekends.
  • Reduce/eliminate alcohol and caffeine consumption in the evening.
  • Reduce any activities related to work or playing video games in the evening.
  • Use Lavender essential oil to promote sleep, dabbing a little on the bottom of your feet.  I purchase my essential oils from https://www.edensgarden.com/.  
  • Incorporate a wind-down routine that is calming, enjoyable and relaxing.  Quieting the mind and inviting a sense of peace can truly nourish your soul and begin the gentle journey to sleep.
  • Avoid naps longer than 15 minutes, especially in the afternoon.
  • Use self-soothing phrases or prayers when anxiety/restlessness begins:
  • Do not use sleep tracking devices, such as FitBit.  A study by researchers at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago links sleep problems with the use of these devices.  

“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.”

~~ Thomas Dekker, English Dramatist, (1572-1632)

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Life’s Little Lessons

By in Stress Management

March/April 2017

From the book, God Never Blinks: 50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours by Regina Brett — here are 2 amazing lessons.

Lesson 11: Make Peace with your Past So It Doesn’t Screw Up Your Present
When I hear a client say, “The past is the past — I’ve moved on.” My response is, “Your brain doesn’t agree with that.”

Our brains have an amazing ability to categorize childhood events/messages as either safe or unsafe. When situations occurred in childhood where you felt scared or hurt or unseen or unimportant or not special or stupid – your brain stored those negative emotions/feelings/beliefs.

They travel with you even if you believe you are leaving them behind.

Children develop strategies/behaviors to feel good about themselves — trying to look good and be accepted by family and friends. These strategies are an attempt to mask and avoid the fears/pain/hurt. In adulthood, we tend to use similar strategies we developed as children.

No matter what strategy you use… the pain never goes away. It’s stuck in the brain.

Regina Brett writes:
“Over time, I learned how to get unstuck. First you have to recognize you’re stuck. For me, here’s my warning sign: whenever my emotions don’t match what just happened — it’s about my childhood. I’ve learned to freeze the moment — just like you would pause the movie and ask — Is this reaction about the present moment? Or is it about the past? I can’t change the past. But, by changing my response to its leftovers, I can change the present.”

Lesson 20: When It Comes to Going After What You Love In Life, Don’t Take No for An Answer

Regina Brett writes:
“There’s a story about a set of twin boys. One was a born optimist, the other a born pessimist. A psychiatrist trying to understand them put the pessimist in a room full of toys to see what would happen. The boy whined and cried. The doctor put the optimist in a room full of horse manure and gave the boy a shovel. Hours later, the optimist was still grinning and shoveling the manure as fast as he could. Why was he so happy? The boy said, “With all this manure, there’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!””

Regina Brett shares her own story of being rejected over and over as she pursued her dream to be a columnist for a major newspaper. And, she never gave up. “Every day, I pinch myself. I have a dream job. I wouldn’t take no as an answer. And, I kept shoveling.”

I can relate to the author’s passion. When I was in my early 40’s, I wanted to leave the business world and become a therapist in private practice

Some people thought my career move was risky. My father was not one of those people. He held my hand before he died and said, “Follow your dreams and never let other people tell you what your dream should be.”

Here I am 12 years later — in private practice. Everyday I pinch myself. I have a dream job. I wouldn’t take no as an answer. And, I kept shoveling.

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Post-Election: Time to Stop Judging

By in Anger, Stress Management

December 2016

It’s an interesting time in history with the recent election combined with social media and the ability to comment on news articles.  On one hand, the Internet is a great way to connect and share opinions.  On the other hand, it creates a destructive environment of judgment, attack and shaming others.

Facebook and the news stories are filled with wide-sweeping labels and judgment.  Even the “take action” articles that people post on their Facebook timeline – are typically filled with angry, negative, shaming and self-righteous statements to support one perspective.

Is it ok to have opinions related to a definition of right versus wrong?  Yes.  Is it acceptable to live your life based on morals/values? Absolutely – it’s called your conscience. Is it ok to hold a belief that a person’s behavior is wrong?  Yes. Is it acceptable to label any human being as bad, stupid, ugly or worthless?  No.

You can hold onto your own morals by deeming a behavior bad – but you cross the line when you call a person bad. What you don’t see, don’t understand — is that your judgment leads to suffering, division and pain.  You inflict pain when you judge and that pain can boom-a-rang back at you when friends or family get hurt by your judgmental ways.

Ask yourself: Am I tolerant of all people – except those that think differently than me?

Do you think you judge fairly?  You can’t possibly know the interior soul of another person – because you don’t walk in their shoes.  Judgment closes your eyes, ears and heart.

As human beings, we make up stories in our head to support our viewpoint:  “They voted for that candidate because they don’t care about the environment — are socialists — are xenophobic — are feminists — are weak — are single-issue voters — are morally bankrupt — are racist”.  Your story is not the tuning fork of truth. It’s a story.

3 Reasons People Judge:
1.  You feel judged
I once had a friend jokingly say, “I’m not judgmental.  I only judge those who judge others.”   You cannot and will not change another person’s judgment with a response of judgment.  Actually, you seal the deal of being judged when you speak to others with your own voice of judgment — and the burn of resentment is fanned inside you and others.

2. You are scared
When a person is scared or feels unsafe or intimidated – they bind together and attack others who think differently.  Post-election, people are afraid they are going to lose something or are fighting to regain something that was taken from them by the previous rule of authority.   People bind together on Facebook and news feeds to express fear and blast those who feel differently.  The reality is that judging provides no sense of rooted, long-lasting security.

3. You feel helpless
Change can create a feeling of “something is being done to me.”  Judgment gives a person a sense of power and control in a misguided attempt to get away from being controlled.  People believe that by putting big negative, shaming labels on others – they’ll get that other person to stop.  The result is perpetual helplessness and more judgment.

6 Ways to Stop:
1. Cut back on your news consumption.  The media sells stories by stirring the pot and jumping to conclusions. Stay in the present moment. There’s no point in imagining the worst case scenario when it might never come to be.

2. Notice your thoughts.  When they go negative – push them in a positive direction or move away from the triggering event or take a positive action step.

3.  Stay off Facebook for a while.  If you feel an immediate urge to respond to a negative post – don’t.  If friends trigger you on Facebook, unfollow them for a while.   Don’t re-post articles that contain language that is demeaning.  If you have negative, shaming comments on your timeline — remove them.

4.  Ask those around you to stop judging.  Judgment begets judgment. Discuss the issues — not the badness of the person.  Listen for the common ground.

5. Avoid sweeping statements.  Stereotypes are never, ever good – and perpetuate division. Don’t use broad-brush labels (feminist, stupid, socialist, racist, hippie, homophobe, gun toter, redneck, etc).

6. Look for change in yourself.  Do something other than complain about the past President or the President-elect.  No matter if your candidate won this election or not … make a difference in peaceful ways and get behind what you believe in: write a letter to elected officials – volunteer – pray – visit the elderly – sponsor a child – ladle soup at a local kitchen – plant a tree – carpool to work — join a goal-oriented advocacy group.

Remember how it feels to be judged, bullied, shamed and misunderstood.
Now stop doing it to others.
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Money Worries Bankrupt Your Well-Being

By in Anxiety, Stress Management

September 2016

Money is a major source of stress, according to a recent survey by the American Psychological Association (APA). Almost 3 out of 4 Americans feel anxious about money.

A study found that Millennials (born 1980 and after) and Gen Xers (born between 1965 – 1980) have significant financial worry as they struggle with under-employment, student loans and parenthood.

Worrying about money and debt impacts people individually and it tarnishes relationships. The APA reports that roughly 1 out of 3 couples fight about money.

Having more money does not relieve financial anxiety (2015 UBS survey). Half of those with a net worth of $1 million to $5 million believe that one wrong move, such as a job loss or a drop in the market, could cause their financial position to crash. And people in this bracket feel like there is not be enough time to recover and earn that wealth back, if that were to happen.

OUR BRAINS GO INTO HIGH ALERT AROUND MONEY
Why? The fear response of not having enough money goes back to caveman days. If a big black bear were to appear in the field as the cave dwellers were gathering berries, they would immediately go into fight, flight or freeze mode. As the sense of physical danger increases, their bodies responded accordingly (rapid heart rate, increased adrenaline levels, increased perspiration, dry mouth, tightened muscles, dilated pupils, etc.).

No differently than 4,000 years ago, our brains continue to be geared towards safety. The emotional part of our brain does not know the difference between emotional safety and physical safety. Money touches upon both physical and emotional safety – so it’s a double whammy to our brains.

On top of it all, financial anxiety feeds other anxious feelings – such as fear of failure, fear of being a disappointment, fear of letting the family down, fear of being seen as a loser or fear of feeling inadequate.

If financial anxiety is not dealt with in a healthy way — the increased physiological responses of these fears can destroy one’s health and emotional well-being.

CREATE CHOICES FOR YOURSELF
1. Create a plan. Gain a sense of control by writing out goals and targets. Whether the goals are to reduce expenses or increase savings – look at where you are at now and create a plan. Gallup reports that 80% of non-retirees and 88% of retirees with written financial plans had more confidence that they could achieve their financial goals than those without a plan.

2. Start Small. By focusing on what you can see ahead of you and the action that you can take now – will begin to reduce your anxiety. Start with the small goals first – the bigger goals will be easier as you accomplish the small ones.

3. Focus on the Positive. It is human nature to focus on the negative – what you’re doing wrong. Take some time to look at what’s going well for you with your money, debt, savings —maybe you’ve increased your 401(k) contributions or you’ve started to take your lunch to work or the value of your home has increased.

4. Use Anxiety as a Temporary Motivator. Anxiety can be a sentinel for the things that need to change. Once you begin to make those changes, allow yourself to let the anxiety go. It’s no longer useful.

5. Let It Go. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? Yes, you may have to cut up some credit cards, cut back on vacations or share a car with your spouse. These changes are not life threatening. Stop and soothe yourself: There’s no big black bear. There really is no black bear.

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Weeding Out Anxiety Organically

By in Anxiety, Stress Management

August 2016

Everyone feels nervous, jittery or anxious during times of stress —it might be when a relationship is ending, preparing for a job interview or waiting for the results from recent blood work.   That’s normal and most people experience anxiety from time-to-time.

Anxiety becomes a bigger problem when it is constant or at such high levels that it begins to negatively impact one’s life and the ability to function well in everyday situations.  Maybe you notice it’s hard to “stop and smell the roses”.

Reducing your anxiety levels “organically” means making changes to your behaviors and thoughts, so anxious thoughts don’t rule your life.  No matter the level of anxiety you experience — simple changes can go a long way to reduce feelings of stress.

One common form of anxiety is called Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), women are twice as likely to be affected with GAD as men.  GAD negatively impacts 7 million U.S. adults each year.

When a person suffers from GAD, they feel anxious most days and it impacts them in significant areas of their life (work, home, relationships). Generalized Anxiety is diagnosed when the individual has 3+ of the following symptoms for at least 6 months:
•    Irritability
•    Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
•    Fatigue
•    Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)
•    Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
•    Muscle tension

It’s always a good idea to get a thorough physical and to tell your doctor about your symptoms so that they can rule out any possible medical problems.  Medication for anxiety is always an option — your doctor can help you make that decision.

Anxiety is treatable.  Making behavioral changes and shifting your thoughts is a way to organically reduce anxious feelings.

5 ORGANIC DE-WEEDING TOOLS FOR ANXIETY

1. Soothe Yourself
Develop short, self-soothing statements that whisper right into the heart of your anxious thoughts/feelings.  Some of my favorites are:

  • I’m trying something new right now and it’s an experiment.  If I don’t do well, I’ll try something else – I can’t fail.
  • Other people’s opinions don’t define me.
  • Bad decisions from my past don’t define me.
  • I am doing the best I can with what I have.
  • I can’t control people, places or things.
  • One day at a time.
  • I’m not perfect and that’s ok.
  • No one can make me feel inferior without my consent. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

2. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol Consumption
Caffeine is a stimulant that triggers the fight-flight response (e.g. increase in heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, etc.) which triggers anxious feelings.  Alcohol can create a temporary escape from anxiety but can also exacerbate anxiety and cause panic attacks.  Be mindful of what happens to your anxiety after you drink alcohol or caffeine.

3. Reduce Social Media
In a recent article, I wrote about FOMO – Feeling Of Missing Out – and the accompanying anxiety.  Limit your involvement with social media sites to avoid comparing your insides to other people’s outsides.

4. Curtail Time Spent Watching/Reading the News
Sound radical?  The media feeds on sensationalism to provoke excitement, big reactions and fear.  Cut back on your news consumption for 30 days and see if it makes a difference for you.

5. Exercise
Physical exercise reduces anxiety and is a great stress management technique. Regular exercise creates a sense of calming, improves sleep, provides stress relief, and increases self-esteem. Even a 20-minute daily walk can be beneficial for anxiety.

OTHER INTERESTING TID-BITS ABOUT ANXIETY*

  • Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults (age 18 and older) — that’s almost 20% of the US population. (Original Source: National Institute of Mental health).
  • Anxiety is highly treatable.  Despite that fact, only one-third of people who suffer from anxiety seek treatment.  
  • According to a study published in the The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry,  people with anxiety disorders seek relief for their symptoms often through their medical doctors because the symptoms of anxiety mimic physical illnesses.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.
  • Women are twice as likely to be affected with GAD as men.  GAD negatively impacts 7 million U.S. adults each year.

*The source for the information cited above is from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)

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