Creating Calm in the COVID Calamity

Late Spring 2020

The pandemic has created the perfect storm to escalate fear, worry and anxiety. We are dealing with uncertainty, social isolation, health fears and economic challenges. These challenges are hitting us and our loved ones all at once.  It’s as if someone flipped a light switch.

And, people don’t know when things will go back to normal.  That creates new layers of anxiety.

In the midst of the storm – this is a great time to build resilience.

1. Awareness: What is in the Present vs the Past?
Really slow it down and check your emotional temperature to pinpoint your fear/concerns (instead of just saying, “I’m anxious”).  What are your concerns exactly?

  •  job loss
  • loneliness
  • health worries
  • concern for loved ones
  • missing someone
  • financial insecurity
  • scared of the unknown

Ask yourself: How much of my distress is brand new with the pandemic and how much of it has always been there?

It is likely that some of your distress is specific to the pandemic and not anything you’ve ever been concerned about before.

And, it is also highly likely that some of your distress has traveled with you for a long time and you’ve never dealt with that fear/concern in a permanent way.  You might have ways of covering it up or pushing it down.  Yet, it comes back.  This pandemic can ignite old issues like wildfire.

Here are some examples of how past issues can fuel current fears:

  • An individual who grew up in a home where success/performance was highly valued might have built their identity around “doing well, working hard and being successful”.  This person likely has pushed down fear of failure for a long time.  In this time of economic uncertainty, their anxiety related to the threat of job/income loss will be more amplified than a person whose identity is not built upon performance.
  • A person might have been exposed to illness as a youngster or a scary medical event or the death of a loved one.   If that scary event was not properly talked about or explained to the child — this person might struggle with larger fears of death or illness during the pandemic.
  • An individual who took on a caretaking role as a child might be feeling exceptionally overwhelmed during the pandemic because their children/spouse are now home 24/7 and they feel more pressure to caretake.  Caretakers can be so focused on the needs of others that their unmet needs get pushed down even further, resulting in heightened despair and anxiety.
Dealing with issues from the past is something that a therapist can help you overcome on a permanent basis.  Yet, there’s a lot you can do for yourself during the pandemic to develop new tools to build resilience.

2. Build Resilience: Create a Gratitude Journal
There are many tools to increase resilience. One of my favorites is easy, simple and can be done individually and as a family.A Gratitude Journal entails jotting down things for which you are grateful.  Your list might be short or detailed — it might contain small and large things.  Make the list — and you will be left with a wonderful collection of inspiring material when you need a lift.Ask your partner and children to join in.  Begin your evening meal by each person sharing one item of gratitude — no matter how small.

Benefits of a Gratitude Journal
1.  Less stress.  By highlighting gratitude, you increase feelings of well-being and contentment.

2. Better sleep.  By reminding yourself of what you have to be thankful for, you are much less likely to ponder over your worries and more likely to de-clutter your mind for a good night’s sleep.

3. More optimism. When you choose to see more of the positivity in your life — you reduce the power of negative emotions. While these positive aspects of your life may be floating around in your subconscious, writing them down makes them more concrete and more real.

Lord,
Enlighten what’s dark in me
Strengthen what’s weak in me
Mend what’s broken in me
Bind what’s bruised in me
Heal what’s sick in me
and lastly
Revive whatever peace and love has died in me
~ ~ Unknown
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Divide & Conquer Your Anxiety

Spring 2020

The media constantly informs us that the Coronavirus is highly contagious.

Yet, stress is equally as contagious. A recent study from the University of Hawaii claimed stress can be as contagious as the common cold and you can actually ‘catch’ anxiety from another person.

In these difficult times, we need to be paying attention to our physical health and our mental health.

Research from California shows that the best way to deal with stress is to share your feelings with someone who is in the same situation. When a person shares with another that they feel threatened or scared or uncertain — it creates a buffer from the fear and reduces the perceived threat.

It is absolutely true:
A problem shared is a problem halved.

The answer during the Coronavirus outbreak is to create new normal routines that keep you connected to others while keeping you safe.

  • Create more intimate gatherings or walks 1:1 out in the fresh air.
  • Talk to your children and be truthful yet provide age-appropriate information. Let them know they are safe and you will be there for them.
  • Avoid speculation with others and instead focus on the positives.
  • Choose family-friendly movies/Netflix and enjoy family time.
  • Connect with old friends via the phone or Skype.
  • Allow your children to bring their concerns up. It’s normal that children are repetitive about their fears until they feel calm.
  • Renew enjoyable family activities such as puzzles and games.
  • Validate the fears of those around you: “Of course you’re concerned. That’s normal.”
  • Employ coping skills that nurture your spirit, such as mindfulness exercises, meditation or listening to a podcast from your favorite pastor.
  • Put together a gratitude list and share it with someone close to you.
  • Don’t forget grandma/grandpa or the elderly — more frequent phone calls, cards and letters will soothe your spirit and theirs.
  • Get in a conversation with God – share your worries, concerns as well as those things for which you are grateful. Read scripture. Pray.

Sorrow looks back.
Worry looks around.
Faith looks up.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Embracing the Seasons of Life

FALL 2019

Our life is made up of many different seasons. We have seasons for each area of our life, including; friendships, career, marriage, children and spirituality.

Some seasons last longer than others and we can always be assured that a new season is coming.

SPRING
Spring is a season for learning, opportunity and dynamic thinking.

Spring is an exciting time and a time of work.  Spring is about new beginnings, baby birds and animals rising from their slumber as life springs forth all around us.  Even the sun can hardly wait to rise in the Spring. This season is filled with new beginnings! It might be a budding relationship or graduating college or preparing for a new baby or announcing a retirement.

Spring is filled with hope and calls us to plant seeds while often times not even knowing what they’ll turn into, waiting on God to develop them. Spring is that season of planting seeds with passion, zeal, spiritedness and vibrancy.

Uncertainty as to what is ahead can also be sprinkled into this potpourri.

SUMMER
Summer is a season for reward, celebration, and fulfillment.

It’s hard to think of summer without thinking of the hazy, lazy days of childhood; riding bikes, ice cream trucks, fireworks, swimming pools, camping in the back yard and counting the stars.

Summer is a time of growth, networking, traveling, taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone.  This is a time of life where you might experience courage, compassion and euphoria.

You may notice that the seeds you planted in Spring are now rooting, growing and producing fruit.

FALL
Fall is a season for harvesting, reaping and counting our blessings.

Autumn — ah the sweet smell of autumn, the crisp air blowing the colorful leaves around. Fall is harvest time. We’ve planted, protected, and now we reap. God brings us into harvest season to enjoy a full bounty. This season is filled with great blessings not only for us, but for the Kingdom. It is a season of gratitude.

WINTER
Winter is a season for rest, replenishment, evaluating past efforts/mistakes and planning for Spring.

This is the season where plants, trees and animals are resting and regaining their strength for the new Spring season.

Winter is the season to find that deeper sense of inner peace, to bond with loved ones, to journal thoughts/feelings and to think critically and thoughtfully about life — where you have been and where you are going.

MY SISTER, JOAN:  Embracing Her Season
Sometimes people think that as they get older — the seasons lose their luster.  Yet, when God beckons us to a new season … we need to respond.

My sister, Joan, and her husband, Dean — are healthy, vibrant and in their early 70’s.  My sister heard God calling her to make a big and challenging move.  After the initial fear, uncertainty and lots of discussions, Joan and Dean embraced it.

They sold their house in the city of Seattle where they had lived for 40+ years, raising 2 children.  They purchased 5 acres in the country outside of Seattle and have moved there with both their adult children and grandchildren.

My sister said, “The family compound might not work for some people. And we had to endure people telling us that we were crazy.  Yet we and our kids were excited at the concept of living in community as a family. It’s not only a new season for us — but a fresh beginning for the kids and the grandchildren too.  This legacy will live on after we are gone.”

You’re never too old to embrace the season where God is calling you.  Listen for His whisper.

For everything there is a season
and a time for every matter
under heaven;
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to harvest what is planted

— Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

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Oh No — My Friend Has Cancer

Summer/Fall 2019

Kristine is my sister closest to me in age and who dad affectionately called, Krit.  We developed a sisterly closeness when I was in my 20’s and I was finally mature enough to be a sister to her.

Kristine had been cancer free for 5+ years — and she found out last month that the cancer has returned.

I have learned a lot by watching my sister go through cancer.  Although, I have learned even more by watching her friends rally around her.

I wish I lived closer to her so I could do more than phone calls, texts, emails and cards.  I’d like to look her in the eyes each day and say, I’m here for you. 

Yet, her friends are “sister friends” — because they support her as if they were her sisters. Her sister-friends have taught me how to be a better sister — they have taught me how to be a sister-friend to others with cancer.

There is a high likelihood that either you and/or a loved one will develop cancer.  The American Cancer Society statistics show that more than 1 in 3 people in the US will develop cancer in their lifetime.

Cancer can be caused or exasperated by all kinds of elements – genetic, environmental, diet, lifestyle, chemicals, sun exposure, infections, pollution, etc.  It’s not easy to run from cancer.

It can be exceptionally challenging for a friend to know what to say or do for someone who has cancer.

Acknowledgment is key to the emotional well-being of someone facing cancer. People with cancer turn to family and friends and want to know that others are walking with them on this scary journey and that they are not alone.

What to Say and Do:
•   Remind them they are not alone: We’ll get through this together. I’m here.
•    Be specific in your offers of help:  Can I deliver a meal this week? Can I take you to your appointment next Monday?  My son wants to walk your dog after school.  Would you like me to watch your kids this Saturday?  Are you feeling up to a walk and talk?   
•    Be warm:  Hugs. Smiles. Kind eyes.
•    Be positive and encouraging: You can do this — one day at a time
•    Send thoughtful cards.
•    Be ok if they set boundaries with you:  Ok – I hear that you’re not ready to talk about  your most recent test results — and I’m available to listen if/when you want to talk.
•    Use texts for short messages: I’m thinking of you.  Just offered a prayer for you.  I am pulling for you.
•    Reach out via phone and let them know they don’t have to call you back if they’re not feeling up to it.
•    Meet them where they are:  You’re right — this is scary.  And, I’m here.

What Not to Say:
•    I googled your cancer and found some stuff on the Internet that you need to read.
•    My co-worker had the same thing and here’s what he did…
•    Don’t feel that way.
•    Is that one of the bad cancers?
•     Do the doctors think you got this cancer because you ______? (e.g. smoked in your 20’s, are overweight, clean your house with chemicals, worked in that factory 10 years ago, don’t eat enough vegetables, etc.)

If you’re not sure — ask your friend:  I would like to ask you some questions about your treatment.  And, if I ask anything too sensitive — please tell me.  Is that ok?

Renewing regular activities after cancer treatment is necessary to further the healing process.  So continue the encouragement and support as your friend settles into the “new normal” in this next phase of life.

Friendships are an important part of the cancer fight and recovery.  If you can’t be a sister — be a sister-friend to someone fighting cancer.

Let your roots grow down into Him,
let your lives be built on Him.
Colossians 2:7

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Staying Steady as America Becomes Unhinged

Fall 2018 – Winter 2019

Are you feeling it too? It is everywhere — people are angry, overwhelmed and worried. Media outlets try to push ratings higher with minute-by-minute perspectives and commentaries that are disturbing and unsettling. Messages bombard us from every angle that our country is divided, kindness has vanished and someone is waiting to call us names if we share our opinion.

So, a key question is: How do I find calm in today’s world?  Recent research is pointing to prayer and meditation as an effective tool.

Stick with me.  Prayer and meditation does not have to be tied to a belief in God or to a particular religion.  If you are agnostic or atheist – don’t stop reading.

1.     Meditation & Prayer: Shifts the Brain Into a Soothed State
Dr. David Spiegel, from Stanford University School of Medicine, is a leading brain scientist.  He recently published research as to what the brain looks like on prayer.

“Praying involves the deeper parts of the brain— the mid-front and back portions,” says Dr. Spiegel.  “These parts of the brain are involved in self-reflection and self-soothing.”

2.     Meditation & Prayer: Produces “Feel Good” Chemicals
Feel-good chemicals, such as Oxytocin, are released during prayer/meditation which helps to soothe and lift our spirits.

During times of stress, our limbic system becomes hyper-activated, and we begin to operate from a state of freeze, fight or flee.   We  move out of a state of contentment and head towards poor decision-making and destructive behaviors.  The chemicals produced while praying return us to a state of equilibrium.

3.     Meditation & Prayer: Reduces Negative Feelings
Research done at the NYU Medical Center, utilized members of Alcoholics Anonymous who were placed in an MRI scanner.  They were shown drinking-related images to intentionally stimulate cravings for alcohol.   Participants used prayer to soothe themselves.  The MRI data showed dramatic shifts in the prefrontal cortex which is responsible for the control of emotion.  Participants self-reported a systemic shift from unsettled to an overall feeling of contentment.

4.     Meditation & Prayer: Prepares Us to Take Action
While there is certainly sound argument for the psychological benefits of prayer and meditation, one question frequently asked by those who are agnostic or atheist: What can prayer actually do in the world? 

The key is balance between prayer and action.  One purpose of prayer and meditation is to recharge our batteries and gain a more centered perspective so that we can move out into the world and create positive change: connecting, re-centering, refocusing and taking steps that create change without destroying other human beings who get in our way.

You can think of prayer as your protective coating for the mind-body-spirit so the action that follows is more effective.

How? If I don’t believe in God.
There are plenty of books, articles and videos out there that can help you with that.

I’ll share one of my own life lessons.  I worked with Harold and he used a phrase frequently when responding to someone who was struggling with pain, grief or loss: I’ll hold a good thought for you.  That statement was always accompanied by his warm, genuine smile.  You felt his care and concern.

One day I asked him what that phrase meant to him.  He said, “It conveys my open heart for that person.  I hold a deep wish that all the good forces in the cosmos come together for the best possible resolution for that person.  My wish for them is that they feel loved and cared for during their difficulty.”

He went on the explain – “I don’t just say it and move on.  I spend time envisioning them wrapped up in all the positive energy in the universe – and it making a positive difference in their life.”

In my 20-something naivety, I asked, “Why don’t you direct that prayer to God?”

He replied, “I come from a scientific family with agnostic beliefs – I was not brought up to believe in God.  Yet, if I die and I discover that God exists … I will hope that he was pleased that I was still able to pray – even though I didn’t believe in him.”

About a month after our conversation – Harold was killed in a car accident.

30 years later – Harold still crosses my mind.  I smile, think of him fondly and wrap my prayer in an interior whisper: Harold, I’m holding a good thought for you.

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there is hatred let me bring your love
Where there is injury, your pardon Lord
And where there’s doubt, true faith in you
Make me a channel of your peace
Where there’s despair in life let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there’s sadness ever joy

— Hymn, Prayer of St. Francis

 

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What Makes Me Feel Good About Me?

Summer 2018

Identity orbits around the questions: Who am I? And, what makes me feel good about me?

Identity relates to our basic values that lead us to the choices we make (e.g., marriage, relationships, career, children, volunteer work, etc). These choices reflect who you are and what you value.

A person holds various perceptions of themselves;  father, athlete, lawyer, friend. Each position has its own meaning and becomes internalized as “my identity”.

We begin the exploration of “who am I?” in childhood as a function of normal development.  And in early adolescence, we become acutely aware of the contradictions within ourselves: I act one way with my friends and another way with my parents and another way with my teachers.

We all have an innate yearning to develop and nurture choices that are consistent with our true self. To deny the true self is to deny the best within us.

Dr. Terry Wardle is a Christian author and provides outstanding Christian-oriented trainings for psychologists, therapists and spiritual directors.  I’ve had the opportunity to attend two of his trainings in Ashland, Ohio.

In his book, Identity Matters: Discovering who you are in Christ, Dr. Wardle explains that identity is the foundation upon which we build our individual uniqueness.  Identity secures that which satisfies our deepest longings.

Understanding our identity really does matter. It is the foundation of well-being, self-esteem, and self worth that directly influences our quest for purpose and significance in life.

Unfortunately, as children, we develop strategies to feel good about ourselves, building our identity around performance and/or people pleasing.   As we move into adulthood, those strategies strengthen and become narrow, twisting, dead-end pathways.  There is no sustainable sense of security, happiness or connection.

Do you identify with one or the other of these statements?

  • People-Oriented Identity: I feel good about myself when certain people are happy with me.   
  • Performance-Oriented Identity: I feel good about myself when I’m meeting/exceeding my performance goals

Most people want the source of their problems to come from the outside and they hope the solution is the same.  But, the most important work that sets us free, is based on our identity in Christ and that takes place deep within our souls.

People are wearing themselves out on this treadmill of self-promotion, achievement and pleasing others — unaware that their identity has been built on shifting sand.

This bears emphasizing…..there is nothing wrong with hard work and doing things for others.  The point is — other people and performance cannot create a sustainable joy and happiness in how we feel about ourselves.

A solid Christian identity rests upon the rock solid promise that we are the children of God — and that is enough to sustain us.

I can’t proclaim that my identity is built on Christ and twist in the wind when certain people are disappointed in me (people identity) or beat myself up because I failed at something (performance identity).

Happiness in life cannot be achieved solely through pursuit of things we find pleasurable.  Those things are fleeting.  Happiness is a by-product of how we live in harmony with one’s true self.If you are not experiencing a sustainable happiness, joy and peace that comes from within — I recommend, Identity Matters.

If you get the foundation right, everything else comes together. Get the foundation wrong, life or work or relationships can feel shaky, insubstantial, tenuous and/or flimsy.

This concept of identity is transformational.  Identity Matters helps to get the foundation right.

The journey forward to our true self in Christ is a journey backward to the woundings that created our false self.

~  Dr. Terry Wardle, author

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Affairs: Sweet Poison that Destroys Love

Spring 2018

The decision to end the affair vs. end the marriage is a common topic in my office.  And, I often hear the unfaithful spouse tell themselves stories that are not grounded in truth.

Common Myths:

  • Myth#1:  I’m not hurting anyone. Betrayal is a deep, cutting pain – that burns like acid for years amongst spouses, children and family members.
  • Myth#2: Affairs prove there’s no love left in the marriage.  The very act of an affair loosens the bond of the marriage.  It is the affair that kills the feeling of love.
  • Myth#3: Divorce is the only option after an affair. An affair is a wake-up call that a marriage is broken. I have seen the beautiful re-birth of marriages, post-affair.

Why Affairs Often Die

  • The very zest of what made the relationship spicy fades with time.
  • Affair partners tend to realize that what they gave up is more important than what they now share.
  • One person realizes their sacrifice was greater than what the other person had to sacrifice, leading to resentment and regret.
  • The affair was built on secrecy and lies – making it hard for openness and honesty.

The affair relationship that seemed the pathway to “true happiness” brings about the exact opposite.

6 Steps for the Unfaithful Spouse

  1.  Stop seeing your affair partner —immediately.
  2.  Keep talking and listening, no matter how painful.
  3.  Take responsibility.
  4.  Don’t expect forgiveness right away.
  5.  Allow your spouse to “check on you” (e.g. look at your phone/computer)
  6.  Stop telling lies.

Finding “true happiness” in your life, should not include decimating the lives of those around you.  If the marriage continues to crumble and you decide to divorce — stay faithful until the divorce is finalized.  Don’t hurt the very person who you once told, I love you.

“The cruelest lies are often told in silence.”
–  Robert Louis Stevenson

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Banish the Belief “I’m Not Good Enough”

Winter 2018

Most people hear it – know it’s there – and have become accustomed to it. It’s that little critical voice inside of your brain, constantly evaluating, criticizing and shaming you with a message, “not good enough.”

 It’s the annoying voice of evaluation that prevents you from finding enjoyment or freedom in what you do.  I refer to it as the Self-Critic or Inner Critic.

The Inner Critic can be hard to locate because it operates under the radar — almost like a constant hum in our subconscious.   

Critics rob us of the ability to enjoy and live in the present moment. Critics like to hang around in the background of our brain; judging and telling us where we’re failing.  They use a comparison stick that never goes in our favor.

You might notice that Inner Critic is loud when you’re trying something new, when you’ve made a mistake, when you’ve violated your own moral code or when your performance is sub-par.

Critics watch our behavior and other people’s reactions — and nail us quickly and swiftly.  If there’s any addictive behavior; alcohol, porn, pills, affairs, gambling, shopping or eating — there’s almost always a Critic, hating us for that behavior.

Inner Critics cause feelings of “others are seeing me in my badness”; worthless, depressed, anxious, fear of failure, fear of abandonment/rejection, not good enough, etc. 

Inner Critics typically start in childhood.  As adults, that critical “software” never stops playing, even though it’s outdated and no longer effective. Those comparison messages continue to run in the background – and tear down our self-worth.

Quieting the Inner Critic

I highly recommend you work either with a therapist or use Mark Coleman’s book: Make Peace with Your Mind: How Mindfulness and Compassion Can free you from Your Inner Critic.

The natural inclination is to drive out the negative self-talk with ineffective and fleeting strategies such as; TV, people pleasing, booze, gambling, eating, perfectionism, affairs, anger, controlling others and/or workaholism. 

None of these are a permanent solution. 

Compassion is the balm that melts self-criticism.  If you don’t know how to give yourself compassion — seek outside help.

The Inner Critic is behind the insidious thoughts that can make us second-guess our every action and doubt our own value.

―Mark Coleman, Author, Make Peace with Your Mind

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Is the IPhone Destroying Today’s Kids?

Fall 2017

Dr. Jean Twenge, PHD is a researcher and author on generational differences.  She has been studying the impact of technology and culture on children for 25 years.  Dr. Twenge has dubbed the most recent generation (those born between 1995–2012) as “iGen.”   They are the first generation to spend their entire adolescence in the age of the smartphone.  

This newest generation of children and adolescents, look and act much differently than any other generation before them. 

In 2012, researchers noticed abrupt shifts in teen behaviors and emotional states. What happened in 2012?   It was the defining moment in American history when the percentage of Americans who owned a smartphone became 50%+.

Smartphones have shifted every aspect of teenagers’ lives – rates of teen depression and suicide have skyrocketed since 2012. Kids state they feel left-out and lonely.  

Children are not growing up.  18-year-olds act like 15-year-olds and 15-year-olds act like 13-year-olds. Childhood stretches well into high school.  Children fear independence.

Psychologist Jean M. Twenge says children are on the brink of a mental health crisis; more depressed, more fearful and don’t know how to talk about their feelings

How to Reclaim your Children & Family

Start with Fun:  It can be more fun to add new activities into your children’s lives than limiting or taking away their technology. Often kids view their screens as the most pleasurable activity in their life so allow them to brainstorm activities they want to do; ice skating, paint ball, bowling, zoos, aquariums, craft class, bounce house, parks, etc.

Set Limits on Technology: The American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines are 1-2 hours per day for children. Limit all technology that have screens; computers, laptops, handheld devices, iPods, TV sets, console video games, online gaming, streaming videos, general reading or surfing, and social networking. Discuss the new rules in a positive way at a family meeting.

Cut Back on your Use of Technology:  Limit your online distractions when your kids are home. Set a time that everybody puts electronics away, including mom and dad.  Drop everything that you are doing when your kids get home from school to talk to them. Limit your own usage and model for them that life is better without a lot of electronics.

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Happiness is a Good Night’s Sleep

Fall 2017

The benefits of a good night’s sleep are too many to mention.  And, I’d like to highlight a big one for this article – happiness!

The National Sleep Foundation recommends adults (age 18 – 64) get 7-9 hours of sleep each night. Children and teenagers need more. 

If you ask most people what they want out of life – happiness is typically in the top 3.

Researchers have discovered a correlation between happiness and the amount of sleep a person gets each night.

Results of a recent study indicate that people who are “mostly happy” sleep 7+ hours at night. Those who reported the fewest hours of nightly sleep were the least happy, were more discontent in their relationships, worried more and had less gratitude in their life.

Another recent study, found that Sunday night is the most difficult night for people to get a restful night of sleep.

Steve Orma, a clinical psychologist and insomnia specialist, states that a disrupted sleep routine over the weekend is the biggest culprit for poor Sunday night sleep.

“Many people go to bed later on Friday and Saturday nights and then sleep in later on Saturday and Sunday mornings,” Orma states. “So, when they go to bed on Sunday night, they’re often just not tired. And then when they can’t sleep, they start to think about why they’re not sleeping, which only makes things worse.”

Sleep experts agree that job anxiety can be a huge culprit for sleep difficulties.  

People who worry, ruminate, stew, hold resentments, feel guilt or overthink, also experience difficulties in the area of sleep.

TIPS FOR GETTING A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP

  • Maintain a regular wake-up time on the weekends.
  • Reduce/eliminate alcohol and caffeine consumption in the evening.
  • Reduce any activities related to work or playing video games in the evening.
  • Use Lavender essential oil to promote sleep, dabbing a little on the bottom of your feet.  I purchase my essential oils from https://www.edensgarden.com/.  
  • Incorporate a wind-down routine that is calming, enjoyable and relaxing.  Quieting the mind and inviting a sense of peace can truly nourish your soul and begin the gentle journey to sleep.
  • Avoid naps longer than 15 minutes, especially in the afternoon.
  • Use self-soothing phrases or prayers when anxiety/restlessness begins:
  • Do not use sleep tracking devices, such as FitBit.  A study by researchers at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago links sleep problems with the use of these devices.  

“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.”

~~ Thomas Dekker, English Dramatist, (1572-1632)

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